Bright Spots in Difficult Days

Dear Luke,

As I type, you are in your crib screaming, fighting sleep, and have attempted climbing out multiple times to retrieve your lovey which you threw on the floor in anger when I said goodnight and left the room. It's been a long day! You are in the throes of testing, hitting, and kicking me. You fight me with just about every diaper change and it's not uncommon for you to fight me with meals, getting in your carseat, going upstairs or downstairs. Honey has told me she cried almost every day for a period when I was 3 and fought her on everything. I guess now I'm seeing what it's like! To be fair, you've had a cold for 3 days, are working on your 2nd year molars, and today was day 4 of Daddy being out of town. We've had to cancel lots of fun plans because you've been sick, so it's been tough to fill the time. The fact that I'm 36 weeks pregnant hasn't helped either! This morning you were playing with the toilet brush and when I told you no, you hit me and screamed "No!", so I spanked you and put you in your crib for timeout. A few minutes later, you had stopped crying and were saying "uh oh". I walked toward your room and imagine my shock to see you walking toward me! So, now in addition to being able to unlock all the doors in and out of the house, you can climb out of your crib. Great!

But there are bright spots, even in days like today. The brightest spot for me is hearing you sweetly say "Mama." When we are at the park or you're playing on your own at home, you'll lose track of me (even though I haven't lost track of you!) and I'll see you start to look around. When you spot me, you smile great big and say "Mama." I think I frustrate you more than anyone else, but I also think I must be very special to you. It's like I'm your home base. You want to test your independence, but you also want to know I'm right there whenever you need me. I know God will get us through these trying toddler days and pray that He shows me how to direct you through them, to become the boy and man that He has in mind. I love you so much!

Love,
Mommy